10 Days in Africa

The simple life.

2009-12-27T22:25:00.000-08:00

Since coming home I feel stupid most of the time -- for worrying about things that don't need to be worried about.

And I don't care most of the time about other people's issues. It sounds insensitive, I know. Different things are important to different people. But when I see people who are trying to make something out of nothing just for the sake of drama (you know these people), I get annoyed.

One of the biggest things that I take away from the trip -- It's just not that bad. Anything that will ever happen to me in my life is just not that bad -- the hubby losing his job in a bad economy. Me having horrible skin. Someone leaving me a bad tip. My grandmother dying from the flu. Not having enough money to do pretty much anything. It is NOT that bad.

Someone always has it worse than you.

And even they can be happy just to be alive.

Dior who?

2009-12-10T07:37:00.000-08:00

I'm from southern California. I know what it's like to be body and fashion conscious. Most everyone feels it every day of their life pretty much -- every morning when they get up and decide what to wear -- what's cute and makes them look good. So let me tell you...not having to worry about that for 10 days was AMAZING.

I fretted over what I was going to wear for months before we left. Yes, months. I bought new clothes for the trip. I tried on all my clothes before I left. The first couple days we were at the home, my job was to paint. So I wore the same clothes three days in a row so I wouldn't ruin everything I bought. And no one looked at me any differently. And I didn't wear half of the clothes that I brought with me.

The kids there don't ever get to go clothes shopping, they take what people give them and wear it. They are all used when they get them. Everyone wears clothes for what they are intended for -- to cover the body and keep them warm.

Just one more lesson I learned when I was there -- I don't need to covet the $300 dress, the $15 one from Target is just fine with me. I'll wear it happily and not care one bit what anyone thinks.

"but there are poor kids in America"

2009-11-26T21:36:00.000-08:00

I hear that a lot. Why would I try and fix something this is going on half way around the world when "there are poor kids in America"? First of all the kids in Africa -- they're not "poor." They're about 20 notches below poor.

If you lose your parents here, or they can't take care of you, you can go live with family or in the worst case scenario you go to foster care. It might be horrible. It's still not as horrible as having to search the trash dump for your next meal -- and all of your meals thereafter. Or living with children your own age and having to survive all on your own. There is always somewhere in America that you can go to get help or food or shelter -- especially children. In Africa their own parents can't take care of them and they all die and 7-year-olds have to fend for themselves. They have to endure sexual abuse from whoever wants to mess with them. They have to endure unspeakable things that you and I could never imagine.

One of the biggest things that I took away from going to Africa was that this world isn't such a big place after all. I can get there on a short 15-hour plane ride. There are other issues in the world, of course. And everyone I think sometime in their life takes one of these issues up and tries to make it better. That's what Africa is for me. It will be my cause and what I fight for and work for forever, hopefully.

There's a song on a Heart for Africa you tube video that says, "I've seen what I've seen and I can't turn away." I CAN NOT turn away -- sounds sorta dramatic, but's it true, I can't. My brain won't let me count this as a one-time trip. I feel like I'm being pulled that way and I will try my best to do what I can for these sweet kids who deserve none of what they have to endure.

Life without a cell phone...

2009-11-21T16:30:00.000-08:00

Everyone has one -- if not clutched in their little hands, they have them strapped to their hips -- or at the very least, within reach at all times.

I lived without mine for 10 glorious days.

In orientation on the first day Janine asked us to please be there while we were there. Meaning, if at all possible don't worry about your families and calling them every day. She told us to "give them back to God." I wanted to make the most out of this experience, so I took that to heart. I knew if something happened to me, they would get a call and if something happened to them, I would get a call at the hotel. And internet was shoddy at best -- even though our hotel in Ezulwini had internet, I think it only worked 2 of the ten days we were there. So, we didn't have that, either.

So I had NO contact with the family. I'm kind of a control freak and want to know where my hubby and son are at all times. Even when I'm at work, I think of them all night -- like at 8 o'clock I'll think, "Izzy's going to bed about now." Giving up control of them and giving up worrying about them and knowing that they would be okay -- it was truly a spiritual experience for me. I wanted to be there in whole for the kids we would be loving that week. And I know that my Heavenly Father knew that and gave me the peace to know that everything would be just fine with them.

The first full day I was back and had my phone with me I was so irritated that everyone was calling me. And it was really only every couple of hours, but it was unnerving that my peace and thoughts were being disturbed.

I realized that I don't need my phone all the time -- or the internet. I don't have to be that connected. Being without them for only 10 days really made me appreciate the quiet and my own thoughts.

I've also realized that it's always important to be there when you're there. Too many times I've taken Izzy to the park and seen parents on the phone the whole time. Or at the restaurant where I work -- people can't even take out their bluetooth for dinner or stop texting long enough to have a conversation with the person they're with. It's sad, really.

Getting ready...

2009-11-20T09:39:00.001-08:00

I guess I'll start at the beginning. My best friend found the organization Heart for Africa through a co-worker of her mom's. She decided to go on the July trip. After a while of seeing her getting ready, I knew it was something I wanted to do and she asked me if I would go. Of course I said, "YES!"

Every volunteer got a book in the mail called "It's not OK with Me" by Janine Maxwell -- the VP of Heart for Africa. It took me a while to read it, and once I did, I felt sick and had nightmares after reading the first 4 chapters. I told my friend on the phone, "I don't know if I can read anymore." It told stories of the most horrendous things happening to these little children. It told of 6 year old children running away from their horrible living situations and ending up on the street getting tortured by the older runaways. Things that my imagination could never even think of. Things that my brain couldn't wrap around.

You see the pictures on TV. You feel for the little malnourished babies and the mom's that can't take care of them. There's just so many other things happening that would horrify you if you ventured to find out what they were.

I have a 3 year old son. I can't help but thinking of him in these situations. And every time I do I can't help but cry. And cry.

For the 9 months leading up to going to Africa until I got there I fully thought of this trip as "once in a lifetime". But now I've been home for 4 months and I can't shake it. Not that I want to shake it, but I think I just felt like -- this is what's happening in this part of the world, and it's sad, but what can I really do about it?

It was a week and a half of my life, and a story to tell my children. Hey, look at me -- I went to Africa and volunteered at a children's home one summer.

That's definitely not what it's turning out to be.

It's taken over my life. I'm on a mission now. I CAN and WILL help these sweet little children as much as I possibly can -- which isn't much right now. But big things are in the works.

Trust me.

How it messed me up...

2009-11-17T07:46:00.000-08:00

While I was in Africa everything was fine. We did our work, we had fun at the markets, we got to spend time with the happy kids at El Shaddai, and we were even treated to a performance at the end of the week. Everything was happy and fun. The happiness where we were at surprised me. The people we met were just happy to be alive.

I got home and the realization of what life is really like in Africa hit me. HARD.

And I started feeling guilty. Not that I had everything and they had nothing -- it was that I had everything and am doing nothing with it. How in the world was I complaining about doing the dishes with the old food on them when there are people that have no food? How did I ever complain about keeping the house clean when there are people who live in mud huts?

And then I felt useless. I felt like I was needed there and they were so happy that I came -- just me showing up made their week.

And now I was home and my job was to wash clothes (again...not complaining about that), and making sure the bills are paid (at least we have enough money to pay the bills -- and we have electricity). I was happy and more grateful for these things than I ever had been, but still I felt useless. I would ask myself -- what can I do today that would impact someone else's life? There isn't a whole lot around here that you can do everyday to impact someone else's life. And I'm not talking about smiling at someone in the grocery store.

And then I felt angry. I wanted to change everything and no one was on board with me.

I wanted to lose weight and get healthy -- how could I be fat and over eat when someone (a whole continent pretty much) is rummaging through the trash to find their food for the day.

I was mad at myself for getting us into so much debt for stupid things, when I could've spent that money on a child that really needed it.

I had no sympathy for anyone here anymore. I was watching Dateline and they were following a boy in a home for troubled children -- he was there because he was having issues from being hit as a child. I felt no sympathy. I just kept thinking -- you weren't raped by anyone who could get their hands on you. You don't have a disease that will kill you and half your family. You have a home and a bed to sleep in. So what's your problem? Get over it and get on with your life.

I'm still feeling all of these things. I'm just getting to the point where I'm trying to turn it into something productive.

Just coming out of the fog

2009-11-16T13:06:00.000-08:00

It's been almost 4 months since I returned from Africa. I'm not going to sugar coat it -- it messed me up. I felt like I didn't know which way was up or down. If I didn't have other human beings to take care of, I probably would've crawled into a corner and stayed there for weeks.

I'm trying my best to come out of the fog and be productive.

I hope this blog will help me do that.

2009-11-16T12:59:00.000-08:00

Here are just a few of my favourite pictures.

The first day we were there we attended a little neighborhood church that has maybe 80 regular attendees. It was a sight to see as all 141 of us descend on this little church, but they were outside welcoming us before we even made it in the building. Being Mormon, we're very quiet worshippers. Here they were the opposite. As you can see they have a band, back up singers, and dancing in the isles. It was really fun, and the messages they gave were exactly what we teach -- the importance of families, respecting each other, and giving of yourself. Swaziland is a Christian nation and the people that we had contact with truly love the Lord and know that everything they have is from him.

And speaking of... Callie and Charmaine (the couple who run El Shaddai) are always saying that everything they have at the home is "a gift from God." They lived in a tiny camp trailor with their two kids for three years so they could take care of the orphans first. Now they have dorms for the kids, volunteer dorms, a baby house for the kids under 5, a church, a high school and elementary school, a kitchen, orchards, gardens, pigs and cows, and here is the latest gift from God -- a medical clinic for the whole community to use that will have a real doctor to see and treat them. It was our privelege to paint it inside and out while we were there. You can see it there in the background.
I caught this one day as we were making our way down the mountain -- two ladies doing their laundry in the creek. Seeing how others live truly humbles me and helps me to appreciate what I have -- like doing the laundry in a washer and dryer. I will never complain about that again.

And I love this picture even though it's out of focus because it shows how happy she is. The kids are SO happy! They love you even if they just met you. Most of them will not even know your name, but will smile and wave at you -- and then come and hold your hand or sit on your lap. The first day we were there I went into the baby house for a little bit and as soon as I sat down three of them immediately came over and sat on my lap. You feel loved every minute you're there, even though you're there to love them.

And this is one of the preschoolers that I got to be with on the last day there. We walked them down to the end of the hill (where they walk home by themselves), and as we were headed back up to the school, she ran back to have her picture taken.

Even though you know what you're going to see before you get there, it's different actually being there. In orientation they told us that EVERY kid you come in contact with has probably been raped. EVERY kid there probably nursed their parents while they were sick and then watched them die. EVERY kid probably had to raise a younger sibling while this was going on. In spite of this, they are SO happy and loving. And this is what kind of shocked me -- in a good way. I will never have to go through what they already have in their short lives, yet I find plenty to complain about -- none of which matters that much.

A saying comes to my mind -- "to whom much is given, much is required." This is the biggest thing I take away from the experience. I will strive to help more -- not just in Africa, but everywhere that I am.

Although, I do plan to return to Swaziland in 2011 with the boys (so expect to hear of many fundraisers until then). Whoever wants to come with me is more than welcome to :)

Fun stuff...

2009-11-16T12:58:00.000-08:00

One of my life's dreams was to go to Africa and go on Safari. It came true when we were in Swaziland. We got to go on a "game drive" and see some African animals close up. It was so amazing! Here are just a couple pictures of what we saw (we also saw giraffes, warthogs, impalas, etc.)This lion was laying in the shade since it was the hottest time of the day (even though it only got up to about 80 while we were there since it's their winter right now). It was literally 10 feet from our jeep. It's a weird feeling being that close to a lion without any protection of any kind.

After the safari we were able to go to the market for the second time. It was just down the street from our hotel, so we walked there a couple times. As you can kind of see, it was just a row little wooden shack things. They all pretty much had the same things, so they were pretty aggressive in trying to get you into their shop. They were all really nice, though.

The last shop we went to we met this little Swazi lady who was reading the Ensign (our church's magazine). We were excited to talk to her and ask her about the LDS church in Swaziland. From what we could get out of her, she was a member of the "nice church" and she said that people criticized her for having the Book of Mormon, which she pulled out of her bag to show us. She asked Britta if people where we live criticize us, too. I love to see people who live what they believe, even though it's not accepted. I hope that I would be that strong.

And, here's a picture of the typical "feast meal" in Swaziland. Veggies, rice, various cold salads, breads, fried potatoes, and some kind of meat in a sauce -- this was chicken and beef but some of the nights they had Ox tail and impala. I was fully prepared to eat the interesting cuisine of the country, but when it came time I just couldn't do it -- not the ox tail or impala, anyway.

This was the buffet every night, so by the end of the week we were pretty sick of it. One day we decided to get a cheese burger from the bar instead. It was better than the buffet, but still not the same as our burgers. It came with green chili and a fried egg. Also, the "tomato sauce" was way sweeter than our ketchup, but still pretty good.

2009-11-16T12:57:00.000-08:00

This was our group the first day. Heart for Africa works with three different homes in Swaziland and two in Kenya, so this was just our group at our home. There were 141 volunteers on this trip altogether. There was a large group from Taiwan on our trip. They were there the same length of time as the rest of us -- 11 days total with traveling and each of them only packed 2 pairs of clothes (only what would fit in their backpacks) so that they could bring the kids computers (their first at the school), 1000 pairs of shoes (yes, one thousand), and sunglasses. Besides being so giving, they were also really funny and kept us laughing the entire time.One of the days we were there we had the opportunity to walk out into the community to plant gardens. This is a huge deal to people who are pretty much hungry all the time and never have enough to eat. They were so happy to have us and prepared their gardens beforehand. I got to see what it was like to walk around the hills like they do every single day, all day. I barely made it up the mountain on the way back up. I was really ashamed of myself afterwords -- Here I have this body that works perfectly well and I have enough to eat (too much, really) and I don't take care of it. You hear about people that are starving and don't have anything, but until you see it with your own eyes, I guess you don't really pay that much attention.

This little boy was playing at one of the houses we were at. I was just standing here and someone else was praying over the garden (its a Christian organization, so they prayed A LOT). This little boy just came over to me and laid on my foot and cuddled my leg. I didn't want to move.

And here is a typical mother in Swaziland. Sometimes we would be talking to women at the market or out in the community and not even know she had a baby strapped to her back until it fussed or she turned around. Speaking of the mountains and all the Africans that walk everywhere -- the women that we saw usually had a bundle on her head and a baby on her back walking up the side of a steep mountain.
They do what they have to do to feed their children, which sometimes means they prostitute themselves, which leads to more children and the spread of AIDS. Swaziland has the highest rate of AIDS in the world -- 42 per cent (and that's only the RECORDED number). As a mother myself, I can imagine if my child were hungry I would do just about anything for money to buy food, too.

We'll start with these.

2009-11-16T12:55:00.000-08:00

The home that we worked at was at the very top of a mountain and this was my view all week. I've never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life. This was the Komati River and they said there were hippos and alligators in it.

I still can't believe I was in Africa!!!

One of my favourite parts of the day was when we would leave the home and the caravan of buses would take the windy dirt road all the way to the bottom. There were houses all the way down the mountain, and the kids would hear the buses coming and run out to the road to wave at us as we passed. One day Britta stayed behind at the hotel to help sort the clothes everyone brought for the kids and we finished our work early, so I was just sitting alone thinking to myself. There were about 130 volunteers at the home that day and everyone was playing with the kids. I kinda of felt like I was just one more person, I'll stay out of the way. Well, this sweet little girl and her friend came up to me and started talking to me. They made ME feel special, instead of the other way around like it should of been. Her friend braided my hair and held my hand and walked around with me for the next couple of hours.

She took this hat off my head and posed for me. The kids loved having their pictures taken. And she wore this hat all day until it was time for me to go.

Here it is

2009-11-16T12:34:00.000-08:00

My story of the time I spent in Africa.

What I saw.
What I learned.
What I carry with me.